Several have asked if they missed arrangements so I want to assure you haven't. There are rules governing transporting Ayden across the state line since he was born in DC. So paper work has to be done & just a bunch of stuff I would never thought of. That has held everything up & has stalled us in the grieving process. In some ways this has felt unreal & we are in a bad dream. Days and nights run together, reality breaks in occasionally & we are captured in this time zone not knowing how to get out AND dreading when we do. Please continue to pray for us.
Thank you for your notes, cards, meals, gift cards (those really were a blessing for gas & food at the hospital), expressions of love & sympathy. We feel truly loved and supported during this time. Deidre, Chris, & the kids are doing ok. Aubrie has handled someone asking her how Ayden is already and Elijah & I had a talk about death tonight. Haley & Ainsley are sweet & loving as ever. They each have a stuffy that Ayden gave them to say goodbye and I believe each one has named theirs Ayden.
It's so hard to see my baby going thru this. She continues to amaze me. Fierce love continues to flow through her, allowing her wisdom when others might crumble. Our arms ache to snuggle Ayden, our noses long to smell his fragrance, our hands miss his soft hair & skin, and our hearts break.....but thru it all, in the midst of the pain we know Jesus loves us and is a Redeeming God. I cannot fathom traveling this road without Him. He is our strength and just as Ray & I acknowledged at our renewal, the only One able to heal us. I know there are others who are reading this who have also lost a child. My heart breaks for you too. May you be anchored by the Prince of Peace just as we know we are. God is good all the time....whether it looks like it to us or not.
hugs,
Gay & family
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